the camp of horrors
by the posessed one
Summary: harry, ron, hermione, dudley, malfoy, luna, and neville must go to an American camp for muggle studies. with 5 crazy roomates... how will they survive? rated for language. don't judge by first chapter
1. Chapter 1

Ok, well, this is my first story-thingy here, so constructive criticism is good. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.

I like purple turkeys. They will eat you're flesh. This should be fun.

summery: The HP crew gets sent to my camp for a muggle studies project. Lots of screaming.

Oh. If you are reading this… I don't own it. This is FAN fiction. Do you see the FAN in there?

"I HAVE TO _WHAT_?" asked one very annoyed Draco Malfoy. He was, at the moment in the headmaster's office at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry along with Harry Potter, Ron Weasly, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegod, Neville Longbottem, and, heaven forbid, Dudley Dursley.

"There is no way _I _am spending tow weeks in some bloody American muggle camp with all you mudbloods! Just wait till my father hears about this!" Draco yelled

"You're father is in Azkaban, in case you have forgotten." Harry replied icily, then turned to Dumbledore "although I do, for once ,agree with Malfoy. Why do we have to go to this camp, and with them of all people?"

"Well… I thought it would be a fun learning experience. This also is at a school, so you will be able to experience the muggle style of schooling." Dumbledore answered

"That doesn't explain Dudley though."

"it was this or jail."

"oh."

"so it's settled. You leave in one hour. There will be four children coming to pick you up at the airport. Their names are Robin, Brie, Jameelah, and Sarah. They know about you, so you will be able to use magic around them, this is worth 50 of you're grade, so don't run away or anything. Have fun!" those who had been quiet before were now talking loudly and occasionally shooting spells at one another. The last comment heard is

"there is no way in hell I am going to that camp."(Ron)

10 hours later, with the others

(or about that, I have no clue how long it takes to get from England to Massachusetts.)

"why the hell do you get to drive?" Brie asked

"'Cause I'm oldest." Sarah replied, driving the car in the wrong lane, ignoring the angry drivers. It was 2 in the morning, and they were all hyper, and not drunk. Insane, but still not drunk.

"No you aren't, I am" Replied Jameelah

"Well then, 'cause I have a license and you don't." Sarah said

"How the hell did that happen?" Brie asked

"I have a New Hampshire residence, and I got my permit 6 months before any of you." She retaliated.

"No, that's not what she meant. She was saying HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVER PASS YOU'RE DRIVING TEST?" Jameelah asked

"I passed… I just did what Jameelah dose with German… I barley passed. 71 oh yeah!" Sarah yelled while swerving an oncoming truck.

"Sarah?" asked a shaky voice from the back

"Yeah robin, what'cha want?"

"two things. One you needed a 75 to pass. Two I know we have been friends for a long time, so because of this, I beg of you, if any of these people are better at driving than you… let them drive."

"oh. Well that's surprising. It might have had something to do with the death threats then. And, no. I want to drive on the way back, and none of them have a license." She asked as she swung into a parking space the wrong way, crashing into about 2 cars on the way.

"Well everyone out, were here!" said the oddly hyper girl. The other three slowly climbed out, looking a bit green.

"Holy shit, we're late! Come on!" she then proceeded to skip in with an evil grin on her face.

Well, that's all for now

R+R

If I get one good review we get to see what happens in the car on the way back. Malfoy gets carsick.

Sarah


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all my readers who actually took the time to review.

Life Jacket: I love you're ideas; they sound fun… especially the bear thing. I will defiantly be using some of those.

Thunderstone: I defiantly will. And thank you. I can't find my books right now.

I don't own it.

story story story

"Where are they?" asked Dudley "I'm hungry."

"Shut up Dudley." Harry replied.

"I'll tell Uncle Vernon."

"No you won't."

"Give me one good reason."

"I can use magic."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"SHUT UP! You mudbloods are giving me a migraine."

"I AM NOT A MUDBLOOD!"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"Look. I think they are the ones who are picking us up!" yelled Hermione over the noise.

"How can you tell?" Neville asked

"They have a distinct aura of friendliness, and they have flanfelborks in their hair. The sign of the looking." Luna. Obviously.

"No… they have a big sign." Ron answered.

"Oh. They look creepy."

"Not really."

"Look at that one." They looked over at Sarah and Brie and saw that they had evil smirks on their faces. The others were looking worried. For a good reason. Just as the group came over to them a security guard came up. And, of course, they just had to do something.

"You know Brie… the security here is not that good."

"Tell me about it."

"It would be so easy to just walk right in here, even after 9/11, and plant a bomb." And with that they were all attacked by the police and dragged to the interrogation room. They were in there for three hours before Jameelah and Robin were able to convince the police that they weren't terrorists. It didn't help that Jameelah was Arab.

"you know… we are _so_ sorry about that… we have decided to buy all of you t-shirts in hopes that you will forgive us." Brie told them. They then proceeded to take out 8 Yankees shirts.

"Should we take them?" Harry asked "these two remind me of Fred and George."

"Whatever. Free shirts." Ron answered. "I wanted a souvenir anyways. Now we don't have to pay" So it was decided, and everyone put them on in the middle of Boston's Logan Airport. They were so busy trying to find their luggage they didn't notice how Robin was shooting Sarah and Brie nasty looks. Or how Jameelah was cracking up. Or how everyone was looking at them like they wanted to kill them.

"Hay you!" some random person yelled at Dudley "You all got guts, coming in here wearing that crap!"

"What's going on?" Asked Ron slowly. They all turned and saw Sarah Brie and Jameelah laughing hysterically against the wall with Robin glairing at them. Finally Robin came up to the stuttering group and told everyone that they weren't from around here, and that they were the victims of a prank. Everyone walked away whilst muttering to themselves about little brats. They eventually found everything, and walked out of the building.

"Anyone know which van is ours?" Sarah asked

"The one smashed sideways." Robin answered dryly.

"Oh now I remember." By now it was about 6:30 in the morning and they had to be back at 7.

"Look at the time! We have to get back soon. Well, I can drive fast."

"Sarah…"

"fine. Does anyone here have a license? No I thought so. Everyone in. first one to puke gets tied to the roof." She said with a smile, and pushed the others into the car. The Hogwarts group could not understand why the Previously happy Brie was looking like she was going to have a panic attack. When asked she only answered

"Sarah with a car is a very bad thing." At this everyone tried to get out but were first blocked by Dudley, who was taking up the entire row, only to find, when they got passed them, that the car had child lock on. They were trapped. Sarah began backing out and by backing out I mean switching from forward to reverse every five seconds. Eventually they got out onto the road, and by then everyone was green, need I say more? I meant what I said about the roof she said turning back to look at them"

"TRUCK!" Sarah swore and swerved out of the way. Into the wrong lane. They then proceeded to play dodge the car for the next 10 minutes.

"Does she always drive like this?" Draco asked Robin

"Unfortunately yes. Why what's wrong? Carsick?"

"What's that?"

"Do you feel like you are goanna hurl?"

"Who Doesn't?"

"ME!" Yelled Sarah from the front.

"Sarah Malfoy is getting carsick. Can we stop?" Harry asked

"No! Don't worry if he makes a mess he'll ride on the roof for the rest of the time." Everyone made a face. And sure enough 5 minutes later Draco was bound and gagged on the roof. They got back to the camp at exactly 6:59. just enough time to get the green occupants of the car down to the cabins for the one minute they had left of nighttime.

"Now. Since we are you're supervisors you have to follow our instructions." Sarah began.

"The Girls, Luna and Hermione, will be sleeping in cabin 1." Brie pointed to the canvas tent that was set up on the wooden platform closest to the large stinking wooden box. The cabin looked like it could hold about 3 people. "we will show you around later. The boys will be split up into groups of three. In cabin 2 will be Harry, and Dudley. In cabin 3 will be Draco, Ron, and Neville. This will be interesting." She muttered. "Any questions?"

"Yes." Said Ron. "Can we change the sleeping arrangements?"

"No. any other, not stupid, questions?" Sarah answered

"Yes, where do we go to the bathroom?" Sarah and Brie grinned.

"See that big stinking building?" Brie asked

"Yeah, so?"

"That is where you will be showering, and going to the bathroom. I pity the poor sap that has latrine duty this weak." Sarah said with a smirk. "Any more questions?"

"Where are you sleeping?" Asked a now panicking Neville

"in the big warm tent with electricity and internet access. Now, we are here to help you…" Brie answered

"So if you ever need something during the night, or are uncomfortable…"Sarah continued

"unless you are dying or it is something that could possibly hurt us…"

"in which case you could always just use magic…"

"DON'T DISTURB US!" they finished together.

"Now go put you're stuff away."

IN THE GIRLS TENT.

"I think they want to drive us insane." Hermione said to Luna as she unpacked all her books, and cloths.

"I actually think this will be fun. At least we aren't stuck in a cabin with Dudley, or Draco. They aren't very nice." Luna replied.

"Well, it could be fun, and you are right about the cabins. I wonder how Harry is doing with his cousin"

IN CABIN 2. (HARRY, AND DUDLEY.)

"Why the hell are we here? This is all you're fault potter."

"My fault? If you hadn't almost been sent to jail then you wouldn't be here!"

"That was all a setup."

"Yeah, right. You have been on you're way to jail since we were 13." Dudley just glared and sat down on the bed. Which promptly broke.

"You took the good bed Potter!"

"No I didn't. You're just so fat that you broke it."

"I need a new bed"

"Sleep on the floor."

"Give my you're bed."

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

IN CABIN 3 (DRACO, RON, NEVILLE)

"has anyone ever been camping here?" Ron asked

"No." Neville answered. "did you notice that they grouped us in cabins with people we hate." Now Draco was getting interested.

"What are you talking about?"

"Think about it. Harry and Dudley have hated each other since they were one year old. And it isn't a big secret that we hate each other. Except Ron and me of course."

"True. Do you think they are trying to drive us insane?"

"It's possible."

IN THE SUPERVISORS CABIN

"10 bucks Harry cracks first."

"I'm betting on Draco."

"I say Neville."

"You are all asses."

"Stop being such a spoil sport Robin."

story story story

What will happen next? 

Who will be the first to crack?

Will they ever get Robin to stop being a spoil sport?

Why am I asking these questions?  


R+R

The odd one


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to all you who reviewed. Yeah right. In this chapter I will not update until I get at least 1 more review. I now accept anonymous reviews. So review. I think there might be a run in with a wild bear. And chores. Fun fun fun.

If you think I own it you suck.

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6am

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"GOOD MORNING!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP ROBIN!"

"WE HAVE TO GET THE CAMPERS UP!"

"WELL DO IT AT 10!"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP? YOU ARE STANDING NEXT TO EACHOTHER!" they looked at Sarah and Brie standing there in their red and black happy bunny pajamas looking very pissed and gulped. (AN: POWER TO HAPPY BUNNY!)

"Um… we're sorry? We still have to get the campers up."

"I think they are Awake."

"Why would you think that?"

"Oh I wonder."

"Well… at least we have one thing to look forward to this morning." Sarah said to Brie, ignoring the others.

"Wha… oh. Yes. That. This will be a very fun day. Let's get dressed." They started grinning again. The others just shared scared looks.

"I'm starting to feel bad for them."

"At least we don't have the Artemis Fowl group like Jay and Anna. Imagine trying to get any of them to do anything."

"To true. I am still scared." Robin looked over at Sarah and Brie who were now carrying a big stuffed spider, a bucket of ice, honey, shaving cream, a bucket of feathers, a shovel, and a megaphone.

"After all these years I have known Sarah, I think that she is scariest when with Brie."

"I agree. Now let's go take a shower before the others get up."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

10 minutes later

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

As robin and Jameelah came back they soon discovered that the chaos was about to start, when the saw Sarah and Brie walking up to cabin #1 with the megaphone. They turned around and headed back to the outhouse.

Back to Sarah and Brie.

"GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP!"

"GET YOU'RE LAZY ASSES OUT OF BED! WE HAVE CHORES TO DO!"

In the girl's cabin, Hermione and Luna who were already awake and dressed came out to see the disappointed faces of Sarah and Brie.

"Dang it I was hoping they would get hit with it." Said Sarah with a pout.

"Don't worry; we'll get them next time." Brie said in a reassuring way.

"Now, for jobs. You are awake so you have off duty Luna. You don't have to do anything… for now. You Hermione have kitchen duty. You have to set the tables in the mess hall. Deal with it. You have the best jobs. And because we didn't get to do anything to you… NO MAGIC!"

Mean while in cabin #2

Harry was also used to getting up at 6 thanks to Aunt Petunia. Dudley however…

"Five more minutes' mommy, I have to finish my cigarette." Harry just rolled his eyes and kicked him. Dudley, of course, sat straight up and hit the giant mass of shaving cream lying above him.

"POTTER!"

"DUDLEY DURSLEY GET YOU'RE FAT LAZY ASS OUT OF THAT CABIN BEFORE YOU MASS EXPLODES IT WITH YOU'RE FAT MASS!" that was Sarah. She is not a morning person. Can you tell? Harry and Dudley stumbled out of the cabin Dudley looking like a giant ball of shaving cream, and Harry laughing his head off. That is until Dudley punched him in the head.

"Can he do that?"

"I don't care."

"Potter, you have the fun duty of cabin clean up. You get to clean up others' messes. Or make them do it. I don't care. I just want it clean. Dursley," Sarah smiled evilly. "You and Malfoy have the ever fun job of bathroom duty! Won't that be great? Oh yeah… because you didn't get up on time… NO MAGIC!" she smirked at them.

"She reminds me of Snape." Harry whispered to Hermione.

"Snape is nicer." Hermione whispered back.

We now join the cabin 3 boys, who are still asleep.

Brie walks in with a megaphone. Not for long.

"GET UP! ARE YOU RETARTED OR WERE YOU JUST NOT LISTINING! I AM GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU AREN'T UP IN THE NEXT 2 MINNUTS! GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP!" And they were up, just like magic. Then also like magic, when Draco woke up, he was 'mysteriously' covered with honey and bird feathers. He now looked like a giant chicken. Ron then woke up to all the screaming, only to find a giant spider in his face.

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! SPIDER! BIG HARRY SPIDER!" Ron was awake. This only left Neville. He had surprisingly slept through all of the yelling, but woke up instantly when a bucket of icy cold water was dumped on his head. Who knew? That actually works. Now the white Ron, Soaking wet

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! COLD!" look. Neville was awake too. Go figure. Soon after three very ticked cabin #3 members walked out, as though half asleep. Sarah and brie looked at each other, and started to laugh. Loudly. Soon they were joined by the few who had avoided being pranked. Draco looked like a giant chicken, Ron looked like he had just had a heart attack, Neville was so wet it liked like he had been pushed in the lake Dudley was a giant pile of shaving cream, and Harry had a black eye, and his head was covered with the shaving cream from Dudley's face. So this was just Luna and Hermione. A bit later, Sarah and Brie snapped out of it, and began handing out chores.

"Now for the fun part. Malfoy, you have toilet duty with Dursley. She handed them the shovel. Ron, you have clean up duty with Potter. You have to sweep the spiders out of the cabins. And Longbottem… you have… um… kitchen duty with Hermione. Now. We have breakfast in 10 minutes. Go get showered or whatever. There are only 2, so you figure out how you do that. Have fun. Granger, Longbottem, go do kitchen thingy. Brie and I'll come. Oh, yeah, Robin and Jameelah are at the shower house now. Go away.

At the shower house.

"Hi, how are you, hope you are enjoying you're stay."

"Shut up Robin. Of course they aren't. Look at their faces. Oh and Dudley. You might have to find a different place to go shower. You might not fit in the stalls."

"That was mean."

"Shut up Robin"

"It was a very hurtful comment"

"So. The truth hurts. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN AT? GO TAKE A SHOWER!" they left to take their showers.

In the mess hall.

Neville and Hermione were working hard to get everything done, when two girls walked in. Brie completely ignored them, but Sarah ran over screaming

"KATIE, ELISE! HOW ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOOING? WHICH GROUP ARE YOU IN? CAN YOU BE IN OURS? Oh yeah. These are Brie, the nice one, Hermione the other girl, and Neville the only boy." The taller one who was later to be known as Katie or The Sick One of The Odd Children began to answer her questions while Hermione, Neville, and Brie just stared.

"HI SARAH! WE'RE GREAT! HOW ARE YOU? WE ARE COUNSLERS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WHY ARE YOU HERE? WE HAVE KITCHEN DUTY! SO DO YOU! WE GET TO PICK OUR GROUPS! WON'T THIS BE FUN! WITCH GROUP ARE YOU IN? I WANNA BE IN THAT ONE!" it was then that Elise started to talk.

"OH, OH, OH! ARE YOU IN MIDSHIP? IS TOTO THERE? DID SHE GET THE PICTURS YOU SENT? I HAVE YOU'RE FIERSTARTER BOOK SARAH! IF TOTO IS THERE WE CAN RUB IT IN HER FACE!" Sarah started talking again

"I AM GREAT, AND IN MIDSHIP! YEAH SHE GOT THEM! SHE ALMOST SENT ME OUT! THAT IS YOU'RE FAULT KATIE! YEAY! I KNOW I CAN'T WAIT! At this point it looked like this would go on for a while. So Brie decided it was time to intervene.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, AND WHO ARE YOU!"

"Oh. Well this is Katie of the odd children, and this is Elise. They will be helping us with the other campers. Won't that be great?"

"Yeah… whatever you say… well, everyone will be here soon. We had better go out and start letting them in." Brie said

"Sure. Lets. Just let me have my turn." Brie Hermione and Neville looked scared. Sarah, Elise, and Katie smirked.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

OUTSIDE.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Now, before we go inside, we need to sing a song. A camp song. But I can't think of one. So you are going to sing the Phantom of the opera. Goes kinda like this…**In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came, that voice which calls to me and speaks my name. And do I dream again? For now I find the Phantom of the Opera is there inside my mind. **But, I'm board. So… You can't go in until you get this perfect. You will be working in pairs of 2. But, I am board. The boys will be doing Christians part, and the Girls will be doing Phantom's part. Have fun! We'll be back out after we eat to assign you partners." All of the counselors were laughing. Except for Robin. She was mad. The campers were worried. (For those of you who don't know that song has a very high note. They will never get to breakfast.)

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Obviously, you know what happens. Torture. Lots of it. People loose their voices etc… whatever. Point is, they never finish. I may eventually excuse them. Or not. Depends on if you Review or not


	4. Brie's Birthday Interlude

Brie's Birthday Interlude

Well… It's Brie's birthday today, so I thought I'd give her a little birthday song from all the characters. And the turkeys. This is in a slightly different format, but whatever. Here we go.

Jameelah walks in holding a chain followed by a reluctant Robin. Attatched to that chain are all the charctors looking completely miserable, and being followed by Sarah who is holding a gun to their heads. Brie is sitting in a chair looking confused.

"Sing. Now." and so they start

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDYA DEAR BRIEEEEEEEEEE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

"There, are you happy?" Asks Dudley rudely

"…" BANG. Dudley drops dead with a bullet wound in his head. "Does anyone elts want to leave?" Sarah asks. head shake "good. Now get out."

THE END

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIE!**

**THANKS FOR TAKING ME 2 CANOBIE!**


	5. Chapter 4

First I would like to say thank-you to all my reviewers. I really like you're idea Life Jacket. Yes I probably am going to make it blow up. Right after I get around to the bear thing. Thank you for the great ideas. Sorry for making you wait so long, but I was… well… actually I don't really have a good reason for completely abandoning this story. Well, I've learned an important life lesson from reading all your reviews… not many people care if the writing is shit. PLEASE tell me if there's something I can improve on… but other than that… ENJOY

The possessed one

About two hours later, after all of the counselors had had breakfast, they came outside to tell the campers what they would be doing today. Unfortunately, they had forgotten about what they had told the campers, and so about half of them could not talk. Mostly the boys. They were then excused, and told that they had 2 hours before they had to do chores. It was time for the scavenger hunt. In the woods. Without wands. This should be interesting.

"Now. We want some free time, so we all have decided you are going to go on a scavenger hunt. You are looking for stuff. Find it and you will get a prize of you're choosing. Any questions?" this was Katie, as all of the counselors were board, they were having all of the campers go away on a 'potentially' dangerous scavenger hunt. Like I said, interesting.

"As Katie said you will be looking for stuff. Whoever gets the most stuff on the list will get a 'special' prize." Sarah grinned evilly.

"You will not get to bring you're wands, but in just in case you run into a bear or something, you will all get guns. They only have one shot in them, so use them wisely. Oh, yeah, and don't go near the shooting range. We will be 'practicing.'" Brie added.

"You will be going in groups of 2. I understand that there are 7 of you? Ok, well then. That means that one of you doesn't have to go. Now… who wants to be that lucky person?" Elise asked. Everyone put up there hands. Sarah was apparently getting impatient.

"Whoever stays gets to clean out the crap hole. No shovels." Everyone's hands went down. "Ok then. I will pick. Um… Hermione, you are paired up with Neville. Ron… you have Luna." Harry looked around and groaned

'Great. Malfoy or Dudley. This day is just getting better and better.' Harry thought just as Sarah picked the last pair.

"Ok… Harry will go with…Malfoy. Have fun everyone!" Sarah cried excitedly. And watched as everyone walked grumbling into the woods.

"Well now that they are gone…Dudley, we expect those toilets squeaky clean. You can put the crap in the bin behind you're cabins. That's where we always used to put it."

"Brie! You need to be nicer to the campers!" guess who. Robin.

"but they'll be fine. It isn't THAT bad." Jameelah whined

"It hasn't been cleaned for 2 months." Robin pointed out in a monotone.

"EXACTLY! That's why we need him to clean it out for us! He is the only one here who can't possibly fall down!" Elise exclaimed

"Don't I get a say in this?" Dudley whined "Because if I have to do this, I'm going to call my father and have him come here. He's going to close this camp down!"

"Wow." Commented Jameelah to Robin "He sounds like Malfoy"

"Hey Dudley, guess what" wow. Robin was actually getting annoyed "We don't care!"

"Now, Dudley," Brie spoke, being the first one to get over the shock of having Robin ACTUALLY do something that wasn't completely NICE for ONCE IN HER LIFE. "Go finish you're chore, we will be in our room. Watching the others suffer. HAVE FUN!" and with that Dudley walked off to go clean the craphouse.

With Hermione and Neville

"ugh… why do we have to do this again? It really is pointless. And I'm hungry. Can we eat yet?" Neville was complaining again. He had been going on like this for hours and Hermione was about to kill him. Currently she was looking for a stick to impale him on.

"For the last time Neville we have to do this because Dumbledore told us to, and NO you can't have any food because you ate all of it 10 minutes ago!" Hermione had snapped. "Now come on. We need to go get the damn things on this list and get out of here... hold on… what does the list say?… oh… shit…" Neville looked shocked at the fact that Hermione had actually sworn…until he saw the list. It looked like this

**SCAVENGER HUNT**

**One blue acorn located at the top of the waterfall.**

**One green acorn at the top of the tallest acorn tree in the forest**

**One black acorn in the cave of a bear,**

**One Yellow acorn hidden underneath a four leafed clover.**

**One sample of reindeer shit, from the reindeer with purple spots**

And the list went on.

"This is impossible! There's no way to do all of this! What the hell?" Hermione is pissed. Can you tell? With this Hermione began to have a nervous breakdown while Neville attempted to calm her.

With Ron and Luna

Ron and Luna were not having such a great time either. Luna Was going on about some strange animal that no one had ever heard about, and Ron was bashing his head against a tree. Yup! Everything was perfectly normal!

"… So you see, the flurkeldricks actually part of the BIRD family, but they are still mammals. That's what makes them so SPECIAL! And that's why I think that they have taken all of the acorns and other items with them to their nests, and so, we need to go get them." Luna had been going on like this since they had first read the list. It was needless to say that Ron was seriously considering suicide. "But they ALSO could have been taken by the evil mutant flesh eating purple turkeys who…"

"…" Ron had finally snapped "Luna," he said in a poisonously sweet voice "If you don't shut up right now I'm going to kill you. There's no such thing as fuckerdikes or whatever you call them, and there are NO evil mutant flesh eating purple turkeys, and if you think so then you must be COMPLETELY insane!"

"…"

"WELL?" Ron really wanted an answer, so he could keep on being a jerk.

"…"

"Ugh…whatever. Let's just start getting these stupid things. Maybe we might even win." And so Ron and Luna set off to go find the evil acorns of DOOM!

Back at the Campsite (Dudley)

_Why am I even here? _ Thought Dudley to himself. _Robin told me not to smoke in here, but what can it hurt? God knows that I deserve one for cleaning these stupid toilets. _Yes kiddies, Dudley actually DID manage to clean the toilets. Not that it would do much good in the end…but let's not get ahead of ourselves. So Dudley wanted to smoke. Under any other circumstances, this would be fun, as all that would happen would be that he would get lung cancer and die. But in this case, the stakes were much higher. To be blunt, when crap sits out in the sun for a long time, it starts to rot. That releases a gas called methane. Methane is highly flammable. That means that it can explode real easy. Fun isn't it? Just like gas stations.

So anyways, Dudley had decided that it would be a good Idea to use a Lighter in a latrine. (See kiddies, this is why we pay attention in chemistry) I doubt that I can further explain and will leave the rest to your overactive imaginations. Hehe. So, the craphouse exploded and everything was covered in… stuff. Now we shall skip ahead (or behind, whichever you'd like to call it) to the cabin where Sarah, Robin, Brie, and Jameelah were busy watching the other groups suffer.

The Counselors Cabin

"Do you think she makes all this up on the spot?" Jameelah asked Robin. They were all watching Luna and Ron 'communicate'

"I'm not really sure. I think she might _actually_ believe this." Robin answered. Everyone was quiet for a second, then…

"AWKWARD SCILENCE GAY BABY!" Another one of Brie's wonderful comments.

"…" everyone was quiet, just looking at each other, then…

"Hey Sarah, Guess what?" Robin spoke

"What now?"

"It's raining."

"So?"

"It's raining shit."

"You're kidding right?"

"No."

"Shit."

"Exactly"

"…"

"Dudley… will… die." This was brie. And they all left the cabin to go kill the-boy-who-made-shit-fall-from-the-sky.

With Draco and Harry

"This is stupid." Harry and Draco were sitting on a tree stump, arguing about how they should do this.

"I know. At least if we had our wants we could summon the stupid things or something… wait a minute… I have an idea, but I'll need your help!"

"…" Harry was forcefully reminded of a cartoon that Dudley still watched called Dora the Explorer. "Um… Malfoy, you know that you sound like a little girl on a retarded American kids show that teaches them Spanish right?"

"Just shut up and follow me." Draco said, pissed off. "I know where our wands are."

"Really? How do you know that?"

"I'm just good like that." Was his only response. So that left Harry wondering how the hell they were going to get their wands back.

The two enemies walked for miles through the woods, Draco leading the way, with a confused Harry following behind. Every so often Draco would stop to look at something, or to check a piece of paper.

Draco POV.

_Damnit. Why did I have to get stuck with pothead? What a retard. Doesn't he know that we've been going in circles for hours? If he is the 'CHOSEN ONE' then we are all doomed. How's he supposed to SAVE us all, if he can't even tell that I'm leading him in a circle, and have been for the past 2 hours?_

If you haven't been able to tell by now, Draco had tricked Harry. And, being an idiot, Harry had fallen for it. Every time that they went in a complete circle, Draco would take out the piece of paper and make another tally. So far he had about 345 laps. _Damn. I'm tired. This is hard work, but as long as pothead is suffering to then I'm fine. Wait…Pothead hasn't said anything in a while. Maybe he's dead. That would be bad. I don't know where I am!_

Malfoy turned around, and almost had a heart attack. Potter was gone! Malfoy turned back around in hopes that he would actually find Harry, and Almost had another heart attack. There was a pissed off bear right in front of him!

(I should just end it here. That would be so fun! Hmm… to end or not to end…hehe I will be nice. Praise me.)

Harry POV.

_And he thinks I'M stupid? He's past me about 250 times. Doesn't he notice that I'm not following him? Whatever. If he wants to walk in a circle for 2 hours that's his problem. Now… how am I going to get those acorns? I REALLY don't want to have to climb a stupid tree, or do any of the other stupid things on that list. Well… it says that they are colored acorns. Hmmm… The list never said how we had to get the acorns. What if we just paint them? That might make it go faster… That might ACTUALLY work! _

So Harry had found a way to get the acorns without much stress. Now the only problem would be getting the paint. But… for the purpose of this plot, the paint will magically appear, hitting Harry on the head. With that Harry began Painting the acorns. After they were done, Harry discovered that he was getting bored of waiting for Malfoy to realize that he wasn't there. So he got his magical paper, and his magical pen, drew a map back to the campsite, and left. Draco never noticed.

Back at the Campsite.

Everyone but Draco arrived back at the campsite, to find it covered in crap. Needless to say Dudley was blamed. And hated. If you were wondering who won the scavenger hunt, it was Harry, because the others were to busy fighting to actually find any of the acorns. Hehe. But Harry got disqualified for getting his partner killed by a bear. Thus forcing Sarah, Brie, and Jameelah to find a way to bring him back from the dead. But the real reason this is put in is because now, we must pick some OTHER random charcter to bring into this story to take his place. Who will it be?

_wow… 10 pages. My longest yet. Sorry if it sucks. Tell me if there's anything that you think that I could improve on. Ok… so we get to vote on a new character to torture.. Isn't that fun? The choices are… _

_Ginny_

_Mr/mrs Dursley_

_My sister Emily._

_Random character from other book/movie/TV show_

_the little girl from the ring_

VOTE NOW! I will put this character in chapter 6. and NO I AM NOT ABANDONING THIS STORY! R+R

-The Possessed One


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